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Send me your own Tony drawings, and I will post
any picture that you give me.
(onenicesite@hotmail.com)
Tony's Story
In case you're not from around the area, you probably won't know about a local youngster named Tony Jones (his
name has been changed to protect him), who is not only a good friend of mine, but a friend to the whole community.
Tony has not always been such an agreeable fellow. In his worst days he was often known for his senseless crimes,
small as they were. A few of his more notable acts include:
-
Public Defecation
-Public
Urination
-Smearing
Feces on Public Property
-Smearing
Feces on Himself
-Knocking
over Bales
-Flinging
His Own Snot on Everything
-Spitting
on Property
-Littering
-Shooting
Party Poppers in Public
-Breaking
a Cup From Chicken Delight
-Stealing
20% of Chicken Delight’s Property
After a long history of such small offenses, he was finally tried and convicted of break and enter; a crime committed
out of impoverished desperation.
Tony was sentenced to three
months’ house arrest, and now spends his time on his driveway, smoking cigarettes and waiting for his friends to come
visit him. My comrade Jonah and I thought it would be only fair for us to repay Tony for all of his years of heartwarming
friendship and philanthropy by dedicating a page of this site to him.
“ It only seems natural for a man
to think about himself and only himself, but in such a mind frame we never learn to love, make friends, and be friends with
the earth. I have set my mind to think about myself last, and put others first. It is a lifelong challenge to go against the
natural grains of human nature, in order to see beauty.” -Tony
Jones
Update: As of November 26 Tony had served
his three-month sentence, and is now a free man (until 7:00 PM daily).
It's hard to believe that at least two months after the last Tony pic was posted, Double gave me this one. This painting
is depicting a common scene at 'The Station', involving Tony serving his community service.
This is a painting of Tony on his first day of freedom, and it looks as
though things haven't changed much for our good friend-in-maroon. Oh-Oh, it's going to be 7:00 soon! Sorry Tony, we had plans!
Tony is off house arrest on Friday, but has he learned his lesson? This picture depicts how he claims
he will celebrate.
Here's a photo of Tony in early spring before he sheds some of his hair, doin what he does
best, dancin'! This picture was originaly on the cover of "Fangoria Magazine" until it was revealed, this was no monster
merely a hideous man
An animation cell from the short lived childrens cartoon series based loosely on Tony's life (originaly called "Tony's
Man Band Jambory"). The show was cancelled after a month and a halfs worth of episodes due to the extreme graphic nature
of the show, the strange lessons it tried to impart on the viewer, and its obvious copywright infringments. Also
the fact that it was sponsored by mor than six seperate tabaco companies didnt help either. Here To-Ny attempts to wake
his sidekick Dar-Ryl by hand to crotch resusatation, a form of healing often used on the show. Note:
To-Ny's mighty mop, slung over his shoulder gave him different powers depending on wich oriface of his body he jammed it in
The above picture was done by my buddy Twitch.
Tony with Pam Anderson at the PETA annual ball. Upon seeing this picture (taken in 1994) two weeks
ago, he said <quote> "What was I thinking with that hair?? Well, that was a rough time
in my life, I was really gettin into the hollywood parties, and I let it get out-of-hand. Luckily I had my sweet babe Pammy
there to help me out of it. Too bad I made the mistake of introducing her to my (ex)friend Tommy, who she ended up
ditching me for. Stupid Tommy. At least our tape never got found-out. " <end
quote>
Tony had me take this photograph of him and Charles Bronson on the last day of Charlies visit
to Altona.
Here's a photograph of Tony in his ideal setting; On his driveway waiting for us, sitting
on the toilet, with his computer and his briefcase. It's called 'Tony's Paradise.' Make me offers for a print.
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